That’s who I am

That’s who I am
Hello there People of the Blogosphere & Random Passengers! :flyusagi:
Have you ever felt like blogging was a complete waste of time? Right now I’m feeling a lot like this and it’s funny that I’m writing about this today because some days ago I actually thought is something I would never write about. I’ve never been totally sure about in which direction to go with my blog but what I know is that after three years of blogging I pretty much lost my appetite for it. Nekoblog has always been a mix between somewhat informative entries and personal entries. Its the personal part where I’m having more and more difficulties to identify myself with what I write. During the last two years and now evermore I keep asking myself if it’s worth having a blog where you only partially share who you are. If I had a purely informative blog I would only worry about a professional way of writing but since my blog isn’t only informative but also personal I needed to ask myself this question. What exactly do I want to contribute and show of myself and what do I expect?

When I started blogging, the only personal and Japan related blogs I knew were all “kawaii” but I honestly dont like rilakkuma and all the gyaru magazines out there make me sick. I prefere black and red over pink and I’m totally not into glitter, sparkle and all the rest of that girly stuff. Fake however is what I dislike most. If I think about all the entries I wrote with a slight feeling of being fake, it makes me sad. There are times, especially when you start your first blog even if you’ve never even read one, where you want to gain readers and especially commenters at any cost. Or at least that’s how I felt… So I started looking around in the blogosphere and what I saw were blogs where people displayed what they’ve bought from which store. Outfits of the day, circle lenses, lolitas, false lashes, tons and tons of makeup were and still are the hot topics of the (especially Asian) blogosphere. I ordered my first (and only) pair of circle lenses, made kyaraben (because in the kawaii blogosphere everything has to be cute), posted what makeup and clothes I bought and hoped to be kawaii enough to be accepted in the Asian blogosphere.

Obviously I wasn’t. My eyes can’t stand lenses, I feel like a clown when wearing falsies or a lolita dress and most important, Im not Asian. Of course I like experimenting with all those different trends but having to keep everything “Asian” and cute all the time is definitely not something I want. Arent there other aspects of Asia, respectively Japan worth looking into? Does it always have to be rilakkuma, hello kitty, falsies, lenses & co.?
What I want instead is a witty written blog with personal but from time to time also informative entries and cool photographs. I dont want to keep everything boring and formal just to be accepted by everyone because I’ll never fit in anywhere anyway. I’m a Swiss blogger writing in a foreign language and inspired by a country I’ve been for six months. Pretty strange or isn’t it?

I want to tell you more about who I really am. I’m nekochan and truly into and fond of Japanese culture but I’m also Alice (short name given by a few good friends) with a lot of other interests besides Japan. I’m not turning my back on Japanese culture in fact I’m doing the exact opposite. I’m turning my back on everything superficial and mainstream that comes with that huge Asia hype that is reigning the blogosphere.
Before the hatred against me starts I would like to pick out a few blogger which I truly enjoy and who inspired me to at least keep a little bit of trueness on this blog.

What they have in common is that I actually read their entries and smile while doing so because no matter what they write about it’s always fresh and never repetitive nor superficial. And yes, they wear falsies and circle lenses and some of them have tons of makeup but it’s about how you present it and what you do with it! Shouldn’t blogging be something creative?

I hope no one gets offended by something I wrote in this entry. If I did offend you, please feel free to share your opinion. I know that I have trustworthy commenters and readers and I didn’t want to hurt none of you! Every single comment of you is appreciated and makes me want to blog even more.

PS: Thank you maisy for sharing your honest post! I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling a little fake :nope: and I’m looking forward to more of your entries!

21 Responses »

  1. Oh!! Thank you so much for linking me to this <3

    Firstly, I feel super honoured that you feel that way about my blog! Honestly, I've been feeling quite the same lately. I feel as if my blog has lost it's …originality and spark. It's kind of why I've been writing less posts lately because I'm trying to think of the things I want to write about ..and not be repetitive over and over. But I guess every blogger goes through that once in awhile – we kind of lose our footing ..and it's a bit hard to get back up again! I guess it takes time … ideas need to come to you ..not forced, right?

    On another note, I think it's perfectly fine that you don't jump in to the Asian blogosphere! I think people crave uniqueness and honestly, I think there's a bit too many 'kawaii' bloggers around. I mean, there's nothing wrong with the whole make up deal – it's quite nice to look at – but, it's good to have MORE than just that. Not just simple outfit and make up posts, right? So yessss, I want to read about YOU! (Need to catch up on all my blog reading :P)

    But yes again, thank youuuuuu!!!
    This post made my night (3am :P) super happy! <3

  2. I think there’s nothing that can offend someone about it! It’s more than ok to be yourself! I think one of the best things about the blogosphere is that everyone can have a space, from the outfits and make up blogs to the biology ones!!!
    What matters what people things if you’re satisfied with what you do? I think this way.
    Obviously I think it’s normal that blogger feel there are limits, but I think everyone has his/her own. I like to have keep my blog light both in subjects and mood as I keep it as a relaxing area of my life.

  3. :hello:

    I think it’s super inspiring
    of what you’ve just post!
    I remember of how excited I was
    with my first blog and about
    the stuff that I can’t to post!
    These days, I kind of feel silly
    and slightly embarrassed about the
    ‘newbie-ish’ posts I’ve made the
    first year.

    I guess we can learn alot from
    the other popular and professional
    blogs. But I don’t want to be like
    a copycat like all others. I still
    want to remain myself with little

    I already loved your blog when I
    first read it c: I think it already
    draws my attention to stick around
    your blog because it’s about you and
    not just ‘kawaii’ make up and blabla.
    The topics and pictures you are post are
    inspiring, funny and cute in YOUR way!

    I’m Asian and I’m not into the
    make up thing. Just like you, I
    don’t like fake either :c and you
    and I love Japanese culture! Yet I
    do like Rilakkuma haha aswell :P

    Hopefully you feel better now and
    hopefully you keep on blogging!


  4. I totally understand what you mean, but please don’t stop blogging ♥ :ainoonigiri:
    I like rilakkuma, asian or gyaru blogs and also yours ! Every one of them in a different way. Even writing about “partially who you are”, if the few words are honest, that’s what count.
    Maybe you should find other blogs sharing same interets as yours, without the Japan touch ?
    I don’t really know how to say what I want to say, and I find this comment especially messy… but I hope you globably got it and with the love of the others readers, you’ll feel the need to stay a blogger :swirlheart:

  5. Thanks a lot for writing this. I’ve looked at my own blog a good many times and felt a bit useless because I hate circle lenses, I have better things to spend my money on than imported cosmetics, and I’m not at all kawaii anymore. Now I realise there’s nothing wrong with me or my blog at all!

    Also, I’ll admit to being a bit sick and tired of all the gyaru-type blogs. It was fun when I was younger and all I knew about Japan was FRUiTS, anime and sushi, but as I’ve grown up and moved away from those things, my main frustration *now* is how hard it is to find Japan-related blogs that talk about anything else (Wabi sabi? The Showa Period? Ukiyo-e…? There’s lots more to Japan than makeup)!

    I think my blog will change too, because of this post…my blog is just a personal one, but I also noticed lately that I began editing myself whenever I updated. The blogosphere needs more honest writers, and I want to be one of them!

  6. I love Japan so much, I love kawaii things so much, but I always think I’m not suitable for being kawaii and I’m not into fake lashes and I dislike wearing makeup ;p
    keep blogging, neko-chan!
    I love your bento posts :D hehe

  7. Oh sweetie I’m sorry I didn’t see this till now! I just started uni so I’m very distracted but I saw the link on twitter today!
    It’s sad that you feel that way about blogging and I agree, often we get so bogged down in what a good blog should be. We decide to follow blogs we come across just because the header is what we’re told is a good header, or the pictures/content look just like all the popular blogs, which isn’t what it’s about at all! And in that way creativity gets lost and, even though we try not to, we start to suddenly find ourselves doing the same things, just because it’s human nature to want acceptance and appreciation for the things we do. :swirlheart:
    It’s actually great to hear how you feel, I never realised that you felt that way! and I love that the two of us sharing our experiences has prompted other people to voice their concerns. Maybe we’ll start a little revolution of open honest bloggers who appreciate the individuality of every blog and can enjoy a blog without necessarily having all the same interests. (e.g I’ve never made a proper bento in my life but I LOVE looking at yours!) Wouldn’t that be lovely? I hope you continue blogging! I find such enjoyment in your writing style and how you share photos of amazing buildings and the beauty all around you. Because I think really that should be the point of blogging. Sharing beauty and sharing the things that make us happy so that even people like me who are in a whole different country can see it and enjoy it along with you :)

    Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go and have a look at some of those blogs you recommended (very honoured to be included myself! Thankyou!) because if they’re half as good as yours I shall love them! I’m going to sneak back into blogosphere exile again for a bit but remember if you do want a chat just tweet me or drop me an email :) Always happy to hear from one of my bestest bloggy buddies! :heartame:

  8. :ainoonigiri: (*thinking about writing a comment in german* *shrugs*)
    Annnyway, I’m so sorry that you feel inadequate and that your love for blogging is fading. Actually blogging should be a fun thing to do: a blog should reflect yourself (At least that’s my idea, of course you can also create a new “fake” world but I see that’s now what you’re going for) and I guess the whole trying to fit into a community is kinda destroying the original idea. Plus there’s the never-ending search for readers/commenters and sponsors and we start feeling like we have to bend to their wishes to be “popular”. Maybe like some form of prostitution?

    I’m sure most of your feelings have nothing to do with your blog (that you treasure) but with the community around it. If you aren’t happy with the community, find a new one! If there’s no community – create one! If you think no-one shares your interests – blog for yourself. There will be readers for every aspect that you like, no matter if it’s daily life, fashion, bentos or japanese culture. Maybe you won’t appeal to everyone in every blogpost but that shouldn’t be your aim anyway. :ghihi: Hope you’ll re-discover your passion for blogging soon! :ballerina:
    (btw these kinds of thoughts are haunting me too – so from time to time I take breaks and re-structure my blog around what *I* am interested in, away from the *mainstream* topics to please everyone… :flyusagi:

  9. darling i think this was a great post. if you decide to continue blogging you really should just write from your heart and not care about the opinions of others. i understand the pressure of feeling you have to fit into the blogging world in order to find a measure of success, but at the end of the day, it’s not the amount of followers you have, but the amount of truth you put out there. i never really felt the pressure to conform and i know that because i am sort of somewhere in the middle – i am a petite asian girl who honestly likes a lot of cute stuff and rilakumma and ViVi is my favorite magazine. I am also very artsy and hipstery so i really do not fit into either specific camp. I know if i were to force either side I could have a really successful blog – esp. if i went the cute asian route, but then what would that leave me with? A fake persona I would have to keep up. I think there is a lot of bandwagoning in the blogging world, but i would caution you not to direct your hatred towards what you feel is a fake side of japanese culture because i don’t think that is quite fair. i would just be upset that there is such a narrow and specific focus on one particular aspect of modern japanese society and many people sadly do not understand that japan is comprised of a lot of other aspects than clothes and circle lenses. although i do applaud you for having some of your favorite blogs be blogs from girls who do like makeup and those things. i do not think those things have to be inherently negative. and i always feel like i have to defend fashion because people are so quick to label it as having one function and one function only – a function of superficiality – ok maybe 2 functions – a function of superficiality and also envy. in any case, i think also all bloggers go through periods where they feel a disconnects with blogging. i have been going through a bit of one – mostly because it takes a lot of effort and time and i am not getting paid for it at all so sometimes it feels as if the work does not pay off. i also think about the fact that i only express certain parts of me on my blog or that my blog title and “theme” sometimes limit me. i guess all i can say is blog when you want and don’t blog when you do not want to. do not fear what others will think. some will hate it some will love you for it. and it is far better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. if you ever wana talk you should email me babe or just send me a fb message. (

  10. Hey!
    I was once in a similar situation than you.
    I kept blogging for about 6 years, mixing ALL of my interests AND my personal life all together.
    Finally last year I decided to split things up.
    That’s how Zooming Japan was born:

    My personal blog can still be found here:
    The good thing about this is that I can make some entries for “friends only”, so I can write about very personal things there as well.

    Even nowadays I still struggle to find a good balance between those two.

  11. i hope you continue blogging and feeling inspired, sometimes i feel if i should stop, but i love finding new blog and being inspired by others, tht i want to inspire other ppl too :)

  12. Alice, this is an amazing post. You have such heart and courage to put yourself out there like this, and I respect you tremendously for it. I definitely think from time to time that blogging is a waste of time; after all, what does it get me? But I think why most of us do it is because it really is enjoyable and an amazing outlet for our thoughts and just a great way for us to document our lives. Years from now, we’ll have something to look back on, point to, and say, “this is who I was back then.” And we’ll be able to see the changes.
    Anyways, I always enjoy your posts, and I would love love love to see more sides of you! We as humans are endlessly fascinating, I think – we have so many facets to ourselves. One of the number one complaints on movies and books are that the characters are one-dimensional because we know that there’s always more lurking beneath the surface.
    Write what you want; write so that you have fun doing it. I guarantee your readers will love it too. :)

    X i x i a ❥

  13. :hionigiri:
    Now you are the one who totally make my day! I know a lot of my readers/bloggers who come to visit my site purely just to check out my pictures and rarely read what I write. I am always so happy to hear that someone actually read what I write and I am very thankful! Thank you thank you thank you!!!

    It’s very sad to hear that you feel lost in direction in this blogosphere because I always enjoy reading your blog and checking out all the bento boxes you made, sometimes outfit posts, and sometimes photos of your room, what you did that day etc etc. I even share your blog with my family and friend because I love it very much! I just want you to know I honestly love everything about your blog whether it be the layout, the banner, the little cute emoticons, your writings and the photos.

    About being the Asian part, for me, I always want to a white girl but can never be one without putting on lenses and wig. Even with those things, I will never look like one. You on the other hand, have beautiful blue eyes, blonde hair and long eyelashes! I guess women are just hard to please LOL or we are just lacking that little confident that we need.

    And yes keep blogging because you will always have me as your reader <3

  14. :raburabu: Hi, Alice~
    Thank you for sharing your opinion here~
    I have been through some hard time too.
    Sometimes, it can take me up to few hours to blog a long post.
    I used to enjoy it but due to the hectic life I have right now, I have lesser time to blog.
    I have been blogging for 9 years and I couldn’t imagine my life without blogging.
    I mean, I take it as a hobby than a duty~
    I guess that makes me feel better~
    I used to be a girl who likes to wear frilly and hime-ish clothes but for now, my fashion style obviously changes.
    I prefer casual clothing than dresses full with laces.
    I think human change time to time, but there’s one thing that keeps us going, OUR TRUE SELF.
    I hope you can find your direction and enthusiasm on blogging.
    Blog whatever you want and I do enjoy reading your blog even though it’s my first time visiting here.
    Gambateh, you’re a great blogger!

  15. I totally understand you! I sometimes get that feeling with my blog, but in the end I stick with it as I cant image just leaving it all behind now, its been 3 years and would feel like such a waste if I left. Plus i would miss all the friends I have made. The thing is to just stay true to yourself and dont force a post if you dont feel it. There is no need to blog every day or even every week, just when inspiration takes you. That way it will never feel like a chore. Good luck and I hope you feel better about your blogging soon
    Swing by and enter my blog birthday giveaway!

  16. Neko I think this was an honest look into yourself and you’re blogging and i’m proud of you for writing/posting this! You shouldn’t force yourself to fit into a mold. You’re you’re own person and we love you regardless. As for blogging. I miss it a lot – but right now my life is going in so many directions that I feel I just can’t dedicate the time to it that it deserves. If I’m going to do it with only half a heart, I’d rather put it off until I can sit down and do it properly you know?

  17. Hi Nekochan :)
    I struggled with the same question. My blog was intended to be personal and it continues to be partially personal, but I tend to write in cryptic style because I’m afraid of saying too much. I’m naturally a very private person so it’s hard for me to express my feelings to others, which is why I rely on my blog for expressing little snippets of how I am feeling.

    I don’t fit in anywhere either, but I’ve learned to accept that and move on with my little life :) And I think it’s great that you’re gonna keep a little bit of trueness to your blog! I think a lot of people are afraid to do that.

    P.S. I never thought your blog was fake/superficial at all!

  18. :hirabbit: I think your blog is great. It actually has more Japanese feel to it than some of the kawaii makeup and fashion blogs (I don’t know why. Maybe because your blog is about “real” Japanese topics. Not just something superficial such as makeup. And those makeups are just easy to order online.) Of course I love kawaii blogs too and I wear contacts too and stuff.. but sometimes they’re just pretty to look at and that’s it. :hoshi:

    What I’m trying to say is… your blog is awesome as it is. You mixed personal and informative stuff quite well. I think it’s better that way than being downright formal informative because it feels friendlier. :)

    Keep rocking Xoxo :whistle:

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  20. *Big hugs neko-chan*
    I love your blog the way it is. All that gyaru stuff also makes me a bit sick, but it is completely clear by how many followers various bloggers get because of the cutesy sort of content they post. But then the question is, do we really want those sort of followers? ;)

  21. Wow this is a great post! I know how you feel and personally I follow a few of those “kawaii-gal” blogs. But they are always the same and just nice to look at. I started blogging about 2 month regularly and I don´t even know which category my blog belongs to. I write about everything. xD Nothing special about my life, fashion etc. and I´m not cute, neither I´m a gyaru. You don´t have to feel bad about your blog entries. They are very interesting and very inspiring! Your blog has something unique and I like it! :) Be yourself and don´t care about the others and the blogosphere. It seems you have a lot of readers. <3 So keep up your good blog!

    ahh sorry for my bad english! xD

    P.S: Thank you so much for your comments! ;_; <3 *hug u*

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